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FALL!
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays
Sets, Functions & Relations- 8:30- 9:20
Intro to Political Science- 12:30- 1:20
Tuesdays & Thursdays
Modern Asia Pacific History- 10:00-11:20
Intro to Eastern Religions- 11:30-12:50
Plato's Republic- 1:00- 2:20
Lab for Sets, Functions & Relations- 2:30-3:50 (just Tuesdays)
WINTER!
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays
Intro to Psychology- 8:30- 9:20
Langues et Lectures II- 9:30-10:20
Intro to Political Science- 12:30-1:20
Natural Resources Management- 1:30-2:20
Tuesdays & Thursdays
Modern Asia Pacific History- 10:00-11:20
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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
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So just imagine that there's this school. It's high up in the mountains, and its basis for education involves the core subjects of philosophy, history and ultimate frisbee. Only ten people go to this school, and there are 3 teachers that aren't necessarily teachers. It's like a little family. It's a commune, without the free love nonesense. There's no paper, or pencils, or computers, or T.V.'s. And we're all naked! And instead of consumerism we choose survivalism and everyone is from a different background, and maybe every person speaks a different language and then we figure out the essence of communication and how it should be exercized and our little school is a microcosm of criticism on foreign policy and we all learn 10 different languages and learn to exist in partnership with the environment and then we build a time machine and lose sense of the concept of time and then we're rescued by aliens! And then we enter reality to share our newfound knowledge.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
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Things are cool! Mista Reed came and left. He's super chouette. We got tickets for Bonnaroo a couple weeks ago because, well... RADIOHEAD IS HEADLINING! Phenomonal! Andrew Bird, Beck, Tom Petty, and Elvis Costello are among the many other equally as exciting performances. The location is a little slice of paradise. Glitzy Manchestor, Tennesee. Sadly, it's no Memphis, and it ain't no Nashville. No Graceland, no Elvis Presley, no Fun, is what I always say. Wait, wait, no, I'm sure Tennessians/Tennessites are great.
Matchmaker results are super fun!
1. Ryan Kelly
2. KEITH!!
3. Matthew Mahoney
4. Alexander Sherman
5. Thomas Flaherty
I guess that sets the tone for the rest haha. I'm not gonna lie-- I have a massive crush on Alex Sherman! Yeah, now you all know. I didn't really know a lot of people on my list, and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Kayla so perfectly categorized all of the guys on the list as kids who don't participate in an physical activity, and for the most part, as one goes further down the list, smoke large amounts of marijuana haha.
I hate french and english and math. I do love Gilda though. She's a gem. The sole reason why I love art lies in one name: Wessam. He's from Detroit! And I figure since so many other great things came from Detroit such as ... motown... and... eminem, that he is truly no exception.
I am officially starting a patch bag. I have many patches, yet no bag. If anyone has a lonely backpack lieing around, I would gladly give it a home and a makeover if donated.
Can anyone be cooler than Kim Deal?
The answer is an unrelenting no!
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Monday, January 30th, 2006
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Oh man. Very long day. Very overcast. Very...
FIVE favorite foods:
1. grilled cheese!
2. greek salad
3. bananas
4. curly fries
5. mashed potatoes
FIVE of your best friends:
1. kayla
2. julie
3. robert
4. maddie
5. charese
FIVE of your favorite songs at the moment:
1. andrew bird: fake palindromes
2. talking heads: thank you for sending me an angel
3. british sea power: apologies to insect life
4. the fruit bats: the earthquake of '73
5. animal collective: did you see the words?
FIVE of your favorite bands:
1. radiohead
2. bjork
3. neutral milk hotel
4. refused
5. sigur ros
FIVE concerts you've been to:
1. appleseed cast
2. the decemberists
3. MOTIONLESS?!
4. mars volta
5. sigur ros in... 8 days!
FIVE favorite T.V. shows:
1. arrested development
2. the office
3. curb your enthusiasm
4. seinfeld
5. that 70's show
THREE pet peeves:
1. when guys have long nails! ah!
2. excessive tapping
3. orange juice with no pulp...
THREE random song lyrics:
1. the easiest way to sell your soul is to carry on believing that we don't exist
2. wanna disco, wanna see me disco?
3. support the power of women, use the power of man, support the flower of women, use the word... fuck!
THREE things you did today:
1. went to calculus?! i think so!
2. chilled with... MS. BEAUVAIS!
3. took shelby on a nature walk
THREE thing you will do tomorrow:
1. go to animal shelter
2. read
3. talk to mattie :]
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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
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I've been really sad lately. I think it's because I've been pretty sick though. I got accepted to Mount Allison the other day, so that's sweet, 'cause that was mahhh numbero uno. I'm not ready to go yet. I'm pretty psyched for the summer. Last night I felt kinda nauseous, so I went outside and sat down. It was very nice out. I don't like Film anymore and even though Mr. Rice is the man, sometimes I disagree with his choix des films. I enjoy listening to the Talking Heads. And very recently Phish has become a favourite. Sometimes I wonder if Mrs. Gildersleeve is an alien. But if she is, then she's the best alien in the universe. I really miss Matt. A real lot. In the near future, Kay and I are going to see Sigur Ros at the Opera House in Boston which is going to be... phenomonal. I thoroughly enjoyed Brokeback Mountain, although Chrissy and Julie did not haha. I think I'm content with everything right now. And why shouldn't I be?
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Monday, October 17th, 2005
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Things of great importance:
-Got the nose pierced!
-ANYONE can customize their google HOMEPAGE!
-Kayla & I took a road trip this weekend Friday-Monday to see Matt in Nova Scotia : ) Kayla is a very fast driver who happened to realize that cruise control really is your best friend. I was super nervous crossing the border, due to problems I have with any form of authority, but all was well. We got searched on the way back, but the guy was real nice and I think he was just looking for a little fun.
-Learned how to knit!
-Learned how to play Rummy! & Old Maid! (I know, I know- How could I NOT have known?)
-Went to The Decemberists concert : ) C'etait fun!
-Julie & Maddie : )
-DROP CITY
-anyone who was blessed with the name Alfredo, or Pony Boy.
-MONICA DEGORGIO my saviour <3
-cows!
-Finally perfecting my theory about Donnie & Frank. You might THINK you have that movie figured out, but you have no idea. The movie is clearly about religion and its manifestations. More to come later.
Things of very, very little importance:
-Othello
-Mr. Modica
-College
Pat & I are going to attend a session at MIT relating to involvement in the Peace Corps. Why would you join the military when you can join the Peace Corps?
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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matt left for university on saturday... again haha. i cried a lot, but not as much as last year. i hurt a lot, but not as much as last year. i think it will be easier. the situation just feels so helpless when he's 750 miles away.
i have an overdue library book.
today and tomorrow resemble a two-day detox which includes only eating fruits, vegetables, and water. i've treated my body very terribly lately, so it deserves a little time off/cleansing period.
i still need to read that whole friggin' french book and answer those questions.
and half of wuthering heights.
maddie, jew and i are about to go to borderland. it's weird that it's just the 3 of us now. like the 3 musketeers! college has stolen other friends, and i hope i get them back.
i think we'll go play frisbee.
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Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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Things that make me happy:
1. diabetics use insulin
dirty underclassmen itch
dancing under interstates
2. midnight strolls!
3. BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE
4. sewing!
5. my favourite suckas : )
Last night was an interesting night, and those are the best! I picked up Madness and Jew around 9 & we started drinking pretty much right away haha. Alcohol consumption escalated to a, literally, staggering ammount of shots. Kerri came over! but unfortunately only for a little bit. Someone had the ingenious idea of calling Paul & Wilder. They must have been amazingly bored, because they actually came over. They drank the rest of our bacardi. We went on a walk that didn't really prove to be much of a success haha. I smoked 6 cloves in 2 hours. Someone said it couldn't be done. I might be dieing though. People did dirty things in my room. Paul & Wilder left in that beautiful volvo. So. Here I am, the next day. Short of a whole bottle of Bacardi & 5 beers. I will surely be grounded because I know absolutely no one who is above the age of 21 who would offer to replace said missing items. However, being the end of the summer, I really have nothing to lose.
I have to record tonight. I'm not sure how well that will go.
I think I'm going to take a nap
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Saturday, August 27th, 2005
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Last night was an ultra-fun night with Kerri! : ) There will be at LEAST one purple skittle bonanza before she's off to pursue a career in ... being a super sweet person! Yeah! Which she already is!
Also last night I watched 2 full episodes of "What Not to Wear" and I found out that my season is spring and that earth colours are really in this fall. Hot shit!
Today Kay & I decided not to go to Saint Vincent's due to the fact that they are no longer having $1 days. This is a very terrible recent discovery that I don't really have the emotional capacity or time to dive into. So instead, we went to Whole Foods and got bunches of vegan variety dishes! Any time at WHole Foods is time well spent. I think we actually spent about an hour and a half in there. Wonderful? Yes. Sad? Maybe.
I think Animal Planet is probably the most addicting T.V. network of them all. You wouldn't think so upon first glance, but they get ya! There are, of course, different aspects on the spectrum that maintain every interest. For example, there is a wholesome aspect where little tiny cute puppies are being rescued. But then there is a dangerous aspect when the cute puppies get eaten by extremely venomous creatures. All in all, there's no use in trying to change the channel. It just isn't going to happen.
My dad just yelled at me for driving Kay to Whole Foods. And since I hate driving and the extreme amount of guilt that comes with it, whether it be pollution and the deteriorating ozone layer or the fact that I'm using my parents' money for gas due to the fact that I don't have a job, due to the fact that I don't have a green card which allows me to work legally, I've deciding to quit driving for the rest of the summer.
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Saturday, July 30th, 2005
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Came to the conclusion that Radiohead & Beck are all you really need in life.
Matt's asleep on the couch downstairs :)
We're going to visit my big 'ole family tomorrow in the great town of Battersea, Ontario!
It should be a fun time! Although Matt will probably get made fun of a lot, because, well, they've never met him before and canadians are just that welcoming.
The Rivethead is an amazing book. As well as Ishmael. Lots of reading equals lots of fun :)
That Gorillaz song is so damn catchy.
I will be back Tuesday! So long, friends!
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It's 12:45, and I'm listening to Talib because he makes me dance. My vow has been broken in the worst possible way, and all I feel is shame. Shame, shame, shame.
The past 4 days have been spent in Vermont. It all started when Charese asked if I'd like to come. And it all continued when I replied with an "I guess." Alright, maybe it was a "YOU BET!" I'm not gonna lie... I was very excited! I'd never stayed in Vermont before, let alone been able to actually experience staying in a cabin! I horse-back-rode for the first time (but did not enjoy it very much). I was just pretty much overwhelmed with the fact that there was a piece of the world that had remained untouched by corporations.
But, there was a lot of complaining and criticism from everyone I went there with. "There isn't anywhere to shop" "It's so buggy!" "What the hell are those people wearing?" "There's nothing to do."
Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe it. There was a clear-water spring right behind our cabin, green & blue everywhere, friendly neighbours and people, and a disconnection that I think I have been missing for too long. How could someone possibly complain about not being near a mall? How can anyone be plagued by such negativity in the most true environment I've witnessed so far? It just amazed me how focused and set in our ways we are. We went to Burlington one day, and a man walks by wearing a skirt. Charese's mother starts going on about "how could he ever wear that... what was he thinking? he's embarrassing himself!" Who the hell cares about what he was wearing! He didn't give a shit! And it's people like you that are slowing down the process of acceptance. I can't even tell you how many of my friends would just laugh as that man passed. And I'm sick of it.
Patience is the absolute hardest to come by today. We were waiting in the car this morning for Mr. Rostron to come out to breakfast with us, and everyone in the car started bitching about how slow he was and how "I'm so hungry" and "I'm gonna die if I don't eat right now." I can't even put it into words, but people with a lack of patience are the least grateful and most dramatic. They want instant gratification- how selfish. How fucking selfish. Everyone is. I see it in my closest friends, but how do you address it? I can't tell them they're buying a t-shirt from a major corporation that has an extremely poor record of enforcing labor regulations. I can't tell them to stop being over-reactive and sensational when they're yelling at their parents because they bought them the wrong kind of hairspray. I would lose them if I did. It's a problem. And it's lying underneath every little sentence and tone. And I think I'm going to crack soon. I can't even explain it. I just think that with patience, every problem in the whole entire world would fix itself. Allow for reflection. Allow for meditation. Allow for slow change.
Above everything, it just makes me sad that this is how I view the world now. When I look at everything around me, I see room for change, but it's being suffocated by little tendencies and consistent toxic thinking. And I can cope, and I'll probably never be able to stand up for what I think is right, let alone be able to change anyone's ways. It's an unstoppable cycle. I just want out.
Be the one to end it all.
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1. Your name spelled backwards: eitak or enirehtak!
2. Where were your parents born: Montreal & St. John New Brunswich
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer: the new foo fighters album!
4. What's your favourite restaurant: hmmm olive garden, I'd say
THERE'S NO 5!!!!
6. Have you ever been in a school play: negative
7. How many kids do you want to have: 2... but lately 3 is looking nice!
8. Type of music you dislike most: probably country... very twangy.
9. Are you registered to vote: not old enough : (
10. Do you have a car: I share one with the mama
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped: NO BUT I WOULD LIKE TO!
12. Ever prank call anybody: oui oui
13. Ever get a parking ticket: nope
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving: YESSS BOTH!!!
15. Furthest place you ever travelled: florida perhaps
16. Do you have a garden: my mom does!
17. What is the size of your bed: QUEEN
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?: yes! AND the canadian one!
19. Bath or shower, morning or night: who really washes themself?
20. Best movie you have seen in the past four months? love me if you dare : )
THERE'S NO 21!!!!!
22. Chips or popcorn: chips chips chips
23. Have you ever broken any hearts: hmmm maybe
24. Premarital sex: I say why not!
25. Are you a good cook: of course
26. Orange or Apple Juice: APPLE JUICE DOES BAD THINGS TO YOUUU
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine: Umm Mama, Papa, Alycia, Kayla, Weiner & I at Joe's.
28. Favourite type of drink: mmm Dr. Pepper
29. Best thing in the world: hugs!
30. Have you ever broken a bone: nopenope
31. Have you ever won a trophy: a little one!
32. What is your favourite board game: hmmm monopoly or life. or scrabble!
33. What are your dream cars: a mini coop!
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial: once! acne stuff that didn't work.
35. Coke or Pepsi: both are terrible
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work: no job : (
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy: hmmm... OH! anti-itch shampoo! 'cause I got a sunburn on my head
38. Who are you going to marry: Matthew Austin Reed : )
39. Who would you like to meet: Thom Yorke. Or Howard Zinn.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight: negative
41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex: physical? hair! bedhair!<3
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? chuckee cheese!!!
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own: shoes&sandals combined would probably be a whopping 5.
44. Last song stuck in your head: foo fighers- best of you
45. Any pets: Teddy Bear, Gare Bear, Pokey Bear (guinea pigs) and Shelby (mah poochie!)
46. Who's your all-time favourite Saturday Night Live regular? SNL has gone down the tubbbe
47. What's one thing you would like to learn: to play the most amazing instrument known to man! the piano.
48. What do you do when you are bored: sleeeeep
49. What are 2 things you would want someone to appreciate about you?: 1. how I can tap dance with my fingers 2. my ability to shuffle cards with swift speed!
It's bad luck to end surveys on an odd number, didn't you know?
FAVOURITE SONGS OF THE MOMENT: (in no particular order)
1. Radiohead- Idioteque
2. The Arcade Fire- Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)
3. RJD2- Ghostwriter
4. Appleseed Cast- Fight Song
5. The Beatles- Everybody's Got Something to Hide
I forgot to mention that yesterday, while at the water park, I TOTALLY saw two people from the Real World there, or Road Rules or something. One had an afro and the other was completely forgettable... but they were there! Kayla thinks I've been watching too much T.V. but these eyes don't lie!
Today is CANADA DAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA! Aside from global excitement, mama & I went thrift shopping and did some birthday shopping for Weiner. Got home. Showered. Went to band practice. Jay's the bomb-diggity. Went to that sketchy little trailer to have senior pictures taken. The guy told me it was his last day ever as a photographer and that I was the last person ever he was going to take a picture of in his career. I asked him what he was going to do next. He said become a cop. Haha, sweet.
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Thursday, June 30th, 2005
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I HAVE TO KEEP MY VOW! I HAVE TO KEEP MY VOW!
Monday: Mmm went to Six Flags with the MBUDS! Maddie was hyper for the first hour of driving and then she simmered down. Jew drove the whole way AND in record time, don't you know. Madness & I got season passes! We did the whole Six Flags shpeel and then went to Cold Stone : ) It may seem as though it was not that eventful due to my description, but I remember it being very fun! I guess talking about it four days later will do that to you. Then I came home and watched the Virgin Suicides!
Tuesday: I woke up only to realize that I think I'm getting addicted to cigarettes! Or at least I keep having dreams about it. I had one puff of one cigarette and it's haunting me! Except in my dream I was smoking a cigar... but I couldn't get enough of 'em! Frightening. Anyways, felt pretty nauseous the rest of the day. I watched T.V. for like 3 hours straight that day. I haven't done that since I was like... 10. But it wasn't good T.V. like Seinfeld. It was MTV. Those shows are terrible, but addicting. Never will I watch them again. Matt came over around 9 and... I love him : )
Wednesday: This was yesterday. But I can't really even remember what happened. OH YEAH! Kay & I went shopping for Matt's birthday. I got some stuff for my sister's birthday too. Then we ate at PanPan! Went back to the Reed residence, went out to get more film, went out with Matt to M-HOP (Mansfield House of Pizza!) and then went to Stoppies with Kay, went back to the Reed's and watched a really really cool japanimation film. I forget what it was called, but it was awesome. Kay came over my house at around 10 and then we sewed for the rest of the night like little old ladies! It was fun : )
THURSDAY: (which is today) Got up, packed, and got some things ready. Shelby gets loose and we try to entice her with cheese. It works. Me, Kay, Alexa, and Alycia pile into a car and... we're off to Six Flags! Two times in four days. The ride up with filled with weird, but nice, weather plus loads of Radiohead, so that was nice : ) I finally got Kay to go on Superman, and we went twice too! There was no line-up at all, probably because the weather looked not so great, but it was the perfect day to go. WATER PARK = FUN! We went out to dinner and had a really friendly waitor : ) It was really fun. Drove Kay home the long way in hopes of getting darker so that I wouldn't have to mow the lawn. My plan works! So here I am, about to watch American Beauty, and having a tiny bit of motivation to clean my room... but more motivation to sew!
P.S. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER MONO-FACE!!!!!<3
P.P.S. Kay & I came up with this cool idea. So, we're gonna take a road trip some day this summer and we're gonna bring Gus, my camera. During the ride, we'll take pictures of people out of our car windows! I think it would be so fun! Some people will be mean, so they'll make mean faces (but mean faces are funny!) and then some people will see the camera and do FUN stuff! I know I would! And that is my story.
P.P.P.S. We DO have a show! Come see us rock out hardcore! Haha. Oh man. I'm so nervous : (
SUNDAY JULY 3 2005
@ GREAT SCOTT
1222 COMM AVE, ALSTON MA 02134
$5 / 18+ / 9PM
http://pages.emerson.edu/staff/caleb_chabot/ericrock/indexb.html
(that's the flyer!)
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I'm vowing to document this whole summer! So, I'll start with... Saturday!
Saturday: Hmm... got up at 11 (reasonable, reasonable) then went to my sister's dance recital where I saw Mike O'Neil! I felt his pain. Scurried on home. Went over Matt's in the anticipation of going to the Get Up Kids concert! Matt's friend Ryan from Nova Scotia came down today JUST to see the concert. What a dedicated fan. He was super friendly too! (As all we Canadians are...) Around 5, we left for the Palladium. The car ride was full of really goofy pictures of me and Kay, high hopes for the summer and awesome tunage. Got there around 6:30 and waited in line for a bit. Went inside. It was really really hot, but we managed to make it 2 hours through the opening bands who were absolutely terrible. By this time, really hot, really tired, really sort-of not feeling too well, especially since there's a huge fat guy in front of us who forget to shower the last couple years on account of he couldn't really get into the tub. THEN the fun started! The Get Up Kids came on. Madness ensues. Crowd surfing, terrible moshing, crushing ribs and slippery floors. Kayla faints. I can feel claustrophobia kicking in. Can't get out of the crowd because everyone's pushing up front. Matt carries BOTH me and kay out of the crowd. (Matt is a very skinny boy, and helpless nonetheless, so he deserves LOTS of props!) Kayla faints a total of 4 times throughout the next 10 minutes. The paramedics arrive. Figure out she has no water in her, so we get FREE WATER (what a concept). I felt like a V.I.P. After awhile outside, we go up onto the balcony. They don't end up playing Anne Arbour or Newfound Mass. Despite everything, we're oddly is really great spirits and the ride home is full of a Kid A, beautiful weather and a creepy red moon leading us home. So. There's a lesson to be learned here. If you ever want free water, just faint.
Sunday: I slept over Matt's that night, so when I woke up I hung out with Kay for a little and then headed back home. Tried out the pool for the first time this year! Went to go get Del's with Alexa, and then Matt came over and we swam again! Matt & I headed over to his house for band practice and Jay was already there so we went to Stoppies really quick. I saw Russell there! I don't think you saw me, but you seemed really sad. I wanted to rescue and take you to a place where they couldn't hurt you anymore haha. Also, I saw Robert's parents, which was sufficiently weird because I can only imagine what Robert has told them about me now that he hates me. Went back, and had a really productive practice which never really happens haha. We recorded our new song, which is really low quality, especially 'cause I have a really shitty pick-up. I think we have a show on Sunday in Boston, so you guys should come!
What's Katie doing tomorrow? Will she ever find out who stole her sub? Will she hurt them? Find out!
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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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Today when I came home, Mama F tells me that she went to the pet store and a guinea pig (who she refered to as "Teddy") actually told her to take him home with her. So, after much debating, she did. And now, the Fortier family has a total of 3 guinea pigs. Gare Bear, Pokey Bear and now, Teddy Bear, are snuggled safely within the pet infested household I like to call Home. Haha, my mom's crazy.
So, my sister and I had the horrifying task of looking for father's day presents today. We got:
-"#1 Grampa" shirt (the #1 dad ones were all sold out)
-a book with a submarine on it (the man likes his submarines)
-the new backstreet boys c.d.
-a squeaky cheese play toy
Not too shabby guys.
Right now I'm eating Sunny Bears and marshmellows. Not the little ones, the big ones, if you were wondering. And I totally don't have the motivation to do this art project. I've listened to the songs like 5 times in a row trying to pick out the parts I'll play for the class and I'm afraid that I'll get sick of them. Mr. Rice, look what you've done.
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Hey, Mr. Vacation!
Mr. Vacation: Yes?
Let’s talk about vacation!
Mr. Vacation: Oh, no thank you, hombre. Hahahaha. Just kidding. I’ll discuss vacation until my lips fall off. Is this water for me?
Well, it’s mine, but help yourself.
Mr. Vacation: Thank you.
So, Mr. Vacation, you know pretty much everything there is to know about vacationing, right?
Mr. Vacation: Yes, but my région de specialité is the Northeast.
You only specialize in the Northeast?
Mr. Vacation: Is that a problem?
Not really… It’s just that – I prepared a bunch of questions about other places. You know, like Mt. Rushmore and Niagara Falls.
Mr. Vacation: I’ve never ventured to the Niagara Falls.
Okay, um, sure. No problem, Mr. Vacation. I’ll just come up with some new questions. Wait. What kind of person has the audacity to call himself Mr. Vacation when he’s never been to Niagara Falls?
Mr. Vacation: Dare you question my authority?
No. Well, yeah. I guess I do.
Mr. Vacation: Do you not see that I am wearing a floral print shirt from Old Navy that fairly screams “Mr. Vacation?”
I do see that. I definitely see that. Look, I feel like we’re off to a bad start. I’ll just ask you about the Northeast. Okay, here’s a question: when should people go to the Hamptons?
Mr. Vacation: Good question. NEVER. People should never go to the Hamptons. I went to the Hamptons once. It was 1988 and I wasted away the nights boom boom-ing with the cast of Weekend at Bernie’s. Those were crazy – and sexy – times. Andrew McCarthy and I engaged in an affair that painted the beaches crimson – with love. Or at least I thought it was love. Turns out he was just looking for “inspiration.” At least that’s what he called it. Anyway, he had a bad coke habit and it made him surly.
Wait. Are you trying to tell me that you had an affair with Andrew McCarthy, the actor, during the shooting of Weekend at Bernie’s?
Mr. Vacation: Indeed, my friend.
Okay, you know what? I just checked imdb.com, and Weekend at Bernie’s wasn’t even filmed in the Hamptons.
Mr. Vacation: Yes it was. Your skepticism is misplaced. Hampton Island. Watch the movie again.
You’re wrong. Bernie’s house was supposedly on “Hampton Island” but the movie was really shot in a nature preserve in North Carolina.
Mr. Vacation: Why are you telling me this?
Because it disproves your Andrew McCarthy story. How could you have had an affair with him if you were in the Hamptons and he was in North Carolina?
Mr. Vacation: Oh, I dare say I see what the problem is. I already told you – ma specialité is in the Northeast. I can’t offer an opinion on nature preserves in North Carolina. Sorry, broherto.
What? That’s not – Broherto’s not even a word. All right, fine. Let’s just move on. Let’s talk about Maine. What can you tell me about Maine?
Mr. Vacation: Well, I can tell you this: avoid that nation! Have you seen the movie about the killer seal?
The killer seal? There was a movie about a friendly seal called Andre.
Mr. Vacation: Yes. Precisely. The friendly seal that dove headlong into insanity. He antagonized fishermen and he could speak four human languages.
No he couldn’t.
Mr. Vacation: Yes he could.
(Three minutes of silence)
This is awkward.
Mr. Vacation: Au contraire. This is NOT awkward.
(Four minutes of silence)
Well, is there anything you can tell us about Maine that doesn’t have to do with a movie?
Mr. Vacation: Of course. There’s Arcade Park –
Acadia Park?
Mr. Vacation: Mmm, yes. The first place the sun rises in the world every day.
That’s not even close to true. The sun rises in England before it rises in Maine.
Mr. Vacation: There’s also Portland, which is sometimes referred to as the “Tokyo of New England.”
You’ve never been to Maine, have you?
Mr. Vacation: No. Heard of it, but never been there.
Have you been anywhere, Mr. Vacation?
Mr. Vacation: New Hampshire. Lake Winnipesaukee. I surmise. In the late 90s.
Is there anything you can tell us about it?
Mr. Vacation: I don’t really remember the trip. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I was going to go windsurfing on the lake with several graduate students but I found traffic to be impregnable just across the Massachusetts border. Alas, I turned around. Apparently all the Caucasian refuse in New England had collectively decided to put their trailers on wheels and flock to some mechanized chariot excursion.
The New England 300 at the New Hampshire International Speedway?
Mr. Vacation: Yes. My advice to your faithful readers? Do not go to New Hampshire. Ever. Because if you don’t listen to country radio stations, you shan’t know when a bushel of hicks are heading to an oval Mecca to watch automobile collisions and sex up their half-siblings.
Sex up their half-siblings? That’s disgusting. A lot of people enjoy NASCAR. Not just “hicks.”
Mr. Vacation: A lot of people enjoy a lot of things.
Mr. Vacation, you’re being childish.
Mr. Vacation: YOU’RE being childish.
That’s enough.
Mr. Vacation: That’s enough.
If you’re just going to repeat everything I say, this interview is over.
Mr. Vacation: If you’re just –
Shut up.
Mr. Vacation: Shut up.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Yesterday Matt came over and we jammed! Haha, that sounds so funny, but it's true! It sounded really good though. It's a crazy transition from reading exactly what's put in front of you to creating and improvising on your own. I really like it though. It was hard at first, and I was getting really frustrated with myself but being plugged into an amp is an amazing feeling. An electric violin would be the bomb-diggity, but I'll totally settle for a pick-up.
Today, I decided, would be a SPECTACULAR day to spend at home. So I embraced this decision. Mama F and I went out to eat for breakfast and then we went thrift shopping and then I watched "Y Tu Mama Tambien" but I don't really know what that means in Spanish, but it was a good movie and I've fallen in love with Diego Luna and I really think he's spectacular and this is probably the greatest run-on sentence you've ever read in your whole life, isn't it?
Animal Shelter was tonight! There were 8 kittens there today! It was so fun : ) After, Jew & I were craving Pan-Pan, so we hit that up. We tried to see if there were any cheap Slip-n-Slide's at Toy-R-Us, but the cheapest one was around $30. Anyone know where I can find a sort-of cheap one?
Which reminds me! Tent night at my house sometime next week (MS. RUTA)! I've already got a handle on some ice, cold, imported... cheeses. Herb would be appreciated.
Realism is seductive because once you have accepted the reasonable notion that you should base your actions on reality, you are too often led to accept, without much questioning, someone else's version of what that reality is. It is a crucial act of independent thinking to be skeptical of someone else's description of reality. - ZINN
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Well, hello! So, I'm back on the scene guys. It's 12:38 A.M. so perhaps this idea was conceived on a drowsy whim, but those are the best kind! I have to admit, I miss the ElJay scene. It's like a sophisticated buddy system!
So, I guess one way to break the ice is to share certain, special moments about the 11th of June, year 2005. It went a little something like this:
-Woke up at 10. Reasonable time. Thought it would be a really great idea to start the day off right with a trip to the gym. I got myself there around 11, only to get out of the car and realize that I had indeed locked my keys in the car. Called Mama F, and Little F had to ride her bike all the way down to the gym and help a sister out.
-Matt came over for a little and we went to Cumbies where we saw the tiny Reed with Melly-pants. Then we got ice cream!
-Jewbalie came and picked me up and we went to Kerr's graduation party which actually ended up turning into an intense tennis match with a certain chocolate "hotty" who refers to himself as "Spencer." Hehe, then we had a bonfire at Jew's! Steve was handing out 50's like it wasn't no thang, and Kerri got them ALL! Truly the only senior I will miss will be Ms. Ruta. You're the best ever, and I hope I never lose you.
Getting water in your ear is very, very painful.
I can't really seem to appreciate digital cameras. C'mon guys, you're missing out on the experience!
The #1 cause of Katie-Being-Grounded is due to Katie-Not-Having-Her-Cell-Phone-With-Her-At-All-Times. Symptoms include: hating life, burning, itchiness and a hatred for all technology.
I love Radiohead. And the Appleseed Cast. And Sigur Ros.
Cigarettes taste very bad. Badly? But people who smoke them DO look chic. I'm not gonna lie.
I really like hats now. Before, I wasn't a fan. But now. I've seen the other side. You could actually call me a hat enthusiast if you wanted to...
Haha, I think I need to go to bed. Night!
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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